Courage Under Fire
by TR-Fanfic
Summary: A take on a scene in the season 4 Castle finale promo.


I don't own Castle, but if I did I would be way richer and have a nicer car.

Courage under Fire

By TR

I see her standing in my doorway and I brace myself for one of a dozen possible outcomes. I know she's angry with me. I know she may never understand my actions. I know that she may never forgive my audacity. I know…I don't care. I don't care if she's angry if it means I don't have to see her hauled away in a body bag. I don't care if she never talks to me again, so long as she's alive and breathing. I don't care if she thinks I over-stepped my bounds by keeping all of this from her. I learned the instant that bullet ripped through her that when you really love someone, there is no such thing as over-stepping the bounds when their life is on the line. My spine stiffens and I stand a little taller as my imaginary cape flutters behind me.

If she wants someone who is just going to sit by and let her get herself killed then she's out of luck. I know I'm not made of that thin, ever so curvy, transparent steal like she is. She's always been made of tougher stuff, but if I'm going to be the man she deserves, she's going to have to get used to being protected. I blink away my posturing and it takes a moment for the testosterone to clear from my eyes, she's soaking wet and looking at me with a swirling mix of fearlessness, determination, and exhaustion. She looks different…clearer. So damned beautiful! And I realize that she's scaled that wall and finally met me on the other side. This is her, all her, naked, vulnerable, strong. I want to reach out, to say something, anything that will keep her here with me.

Before I can move she's in front of me, touching my face, kissing my mouth, and I swear to God if this is a dream I'm going to punch the closest person the moment I wake up! I must admit this was not one of the dozen outcomes I'd imagined, but I'll take it. I kiss her back, soft, letting her take the lead. If she wants more she gets more, she stops when she wants to stop, I am hers for the taking. She's fisting her hands into my clothes like a lifeline, and I let her cling, softly rubbing my hands down her back in a way that I hope is comforting. She stops kissing me, just for moment, and rests her forehead against mine.

"Kate", I whisper her name and she just shakes her head, and I feel her claws emerge on my skin in warning. She's still angry. I tamp down my urge to smile. She's angry, and kissing me, that can't be a bad sign. I hope.

"Kate", I say again. "What does this mean?" I know I should ask different questions. I know she's been put through the wringer, but the man in me has to know.

"I don't know. I just don't…" Her voice is scratchy, like she's been screaming orders to "Freeze and put your hands where I can see them!" I hear pain. "…do we have to put a name to it? I just…needed you. Is that okay? To just be here for a minute?"

I sigh, "Come here." I fit her in the curve of my shoulder and wonder when I'll ever stop marveling at how she fits so incredibly well against me.

She's quiet for a long time, moving only to lift her lips to mine in a series of soft kisses. She closes her eyes and I feel it. The deep breath before the plunge.

"I'm still angry Castle," she says and I know it's true. "I feel betrayed and lied to." She steps out of my arms. I'm fighting down an apology because I'm not sorry, and I would do the same thing all over again. Her face shows, she knows that. She turns and scrubs her hands over her forehead. "And damn you for doing it for all the right reasons!"

"I just couldn't risk it…" I begin. She raises a hand, and nods her understanding.

"I would have done the same. It's hard for me to say it, and when my head clears from this adrenaline fog I'm sure I'll hate that I said this, but I would do the same."

"You would?"

"I would Castle. Don't you know that I would? That I'd do anything to keep you safe, no matter how much it made you angry?"

I understand, and my understanding humbles me. "Yes, I do know." I tell her, and take her hand leading her indoors where it's warmer. I have the fire going. It's the only light in the room. It's enough.

She kicks off her shoes and tucks a foot under her knee. She studies her hands for a moment, and I flinch as this is the first time I see the blood stains. I ignore them for the time being. Whatever has happened, whatever she has been through tonight will come out in its own way and its own time. And I'm not going anywhere. I let her be for a moment, knowing she needs it.

She takes a deep breath, "You know my…" her lip quivers for a moment and I take a seat next to her close enough to lean on, far enough to let the words have their space. "…my mother told me that it takes a lot of courage to love someone enough to make them really steaming mad. To risk everything you have for their sake. That never made sense to me until now. I don't know how to feel about being left in the dark that way." She stiffens, warming to her argument. "With the assumption that I couldn't take care of myself! I don't know how to feel…All I know is that if it was you, if you were in danger, I would do the same thing. For…" she looks me the eye and I'm appalled by the Hell that is hidden behind them. God what did they do to her? Her breathing quickens and the Hell is replaced with nothing but the heated truth. "For the very same reasons Castle. I would protect you for the same reasons."

I smile, it's not an "I love you too" it's better. I put my arm around her shoulders, drawing her close. My thumb caresses the line of her jaw and not for the first time I wonder at how soft and female she really is. If she were made of any one thing it would be bravery. Soft, womanly, bravery. And I realize that being protective isn't a testosterone induced condition; it's just what love is made of. I turn my head and lay a kiss on her forehead.

"I'll be right back." I tell her in soft low voice, and I head to the kitchen to pour her a cup of my famous hot chocolate. When I return a minute later with the mug, complete with whipped cream and a clove stick, her eyes light with more than just appreciation for my manly wiles.

"You had it ready?" She says, knowing it takes a half hour to get it right.

I shrug, almost bashful. "Just in case."

She smiles, big and bright and my heart trips in my chest. "Thank you."

I sit down next to her and we both sigh. "Any time."

End of scene…Good? Bad? Zombie breath? Let me know.


End file.
